I now have the pleasure of interning at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation in the factual entertinament department where I share an office with great women who are married and in long, committed relationships. And here I am, going home to my stuffed panda animals. I told my colleague if I learned anything in 2010 it’s that I’m undatable. I’ve reflected on this past year with deep heartache. I’ve wasted too much time begging for attention from members of the opposite sex and not enough time with the ones that love me the most – my girlfriends. I will salvage my membership to the Best Friends Forever Club by spending my new year's eve with these aforementioned girlfriends the same way I spend last new year's eve but in a different location this time – and a different dress.
Of all the things I’ve done wrong these past treacherous years, the one thing I’ve gotten right is transitioning into the new year with those that truly take care of me when I’m sad and support my dreams when I’m apprehensive.
So, it goes without saying, that I’ve never had a New Years Eve kiss. Not that I fantasize about it anyways. Okay, fine. I plead guilty to watching the ending scene of When Harry Met Sally in excessive amounts around this time of year because I’m an emotional cutter. 116,365 views and 80% are from me.
To hell with it! I do think it would be nice to have some gorgeous man run and find you at some loft party while everyone’s counting down “10, 9, 8…” and he’ll tell you “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and the thing is, I love you” and then list all the finds he loves about you that you hate. But my life is not directed by Rob Reiner and I’m not Meg Ryan. I’m merely a woman chasing after things that don’t chase her back. I don’t get my Billy-Crystal-running-to-kiss-me-before-the-ball-drops-because-he-finally-realizes-I'm-the-one moment and I’m okay with that. I’ve got my friends and whatever’s left of my dignity.
Perhaps, if 2010 was the year of not getting, maybe 2011 will be the year of finally being given.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
When Harry Met Sally and When Natalia Met The Light
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Part of the point of When Harry Met Sally was that if you "chase after things" you never really get what you want. Both Harry and Sally were chasing after the endlessly deep, romantic love they thought they wanted with different people when what they really, truly wanted was sitting across the table picking the onions out of their salad and talking about the horrible cab ride they'd had that morning.
ReplyDeleteamen to that.
ReplyDeletebring on 2011!
I stumbled upon this post and by the sounds of it I just went through something very similar. Whoever this man is, it seeems like he is very insecure, incapable of being alone and selfish. Please, run!
ReplyDeleteIt seems like you have maybe broken up and gotten back together several times, If so, it's now a pattern. And he'll keep jerking you around thinking that you need what he has to offer. He can offer you nothing. You seem like a beautiful person, and you deserve better.
I wish I would have taken my own advice. It may be harsh, but from one woman to another it's true. Us girls have to stick together.