When Harry Met Sally and When Natalia Met The Light

I now have the pleasure of interning at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation in the factual entertinament department where I share an office with great women who are married and in long, committed relationships. And here I am, going home to my stuffed panda animals. I told my colleague if I learned anything in 2010 it’s that I’m undatable. I’ve reflected on this past year with deep heartache. I’ve wasted too much time begging for attention from members of the opposite sex and not enough time with the ones that love me the most – my girlfriends. I will salvage my membership to the Best Friends Forever Club by spending my new year's eve with these aforementioned girlfriends the same way I spend last new year's eve but in a different location this time – and a different dress.

Of all the things I’ve done wrong these past treacherous years, the one thing I’ve gotten right is transitioning into the new year with those that truly take care of me when I’m sad and support my dreams when I’m apprehensive.

So, it goes without saying, that I’ve never had a New Years Eve kiss. Not that I fantasize about it anyways. Okay, fine. I plead guilty to watching the ending scene of When Harry Met Sally in excessive amounts around this time of year because I’m an emotional cutter. 116,365 views and 80% are from me.



To hell with it! I do think it would be nice to have some gorgeous man run and find you at some loft party while everyone’s counting down “10, 9, 8…” and he’ll tell you “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and the thing is, I love you” and then list all the finds he loves about you that you hate. But my life is not directed by Rob Reiner and I’m not Meg Ryan. I’m merely a woman chasing after things that don’t chase her back. I don’t get my Billy-Crystal-running-to-kiss-me-before-the-ball-drops-because-he-finally-realizes-I'm-the-one moment and I’m okay with that. I’ve got my friends and whatever’s left of my dignity.

Perhaps, if 2010 was the year of not getting, maybe 2011 will be the year of finally being given.

Ginger

Things I will miss:

- the way you look at me
- our first date
- the first time I kissed you at Crooked Star when “Big Mouth Strikes Again” was playing in the background
- breakfast at Cora’s
- holding your hand
- how you’d twirl me around as we walk down empty city streets
- our inside jokes ie: pancakes are bullshit, butterscotch dumplings, 37 and “I’m a treat!”
- the way I light up when you introduce me to your peers as “my girlfriend”
- falling asleep to The National
- slow dancing to “Harvest Moon”
- laughing in grocery stores
- kissing on the cab rides home
- rye & gingers
- scrabble games
- late night drunken trips to McDonald's for my secret treat
- greasy Chinese at 4 a.m. trying to watch movies but never sitting through the entire thing
- your eyes; the most unbelievable blue eyes I’ve ever seen
- how my head fits perfectly on your chest when we sleep
- kissing the curve of your clavicle
- helping you pick out dining tables
- telling you secrets I know you will keep
- agreeing on “Elliott”
- waking up at 5 a.m. to get ready for broadcast and watching you watching me get ready
- supporting your dreams and aspirations
- planning trips and writing dates
- your genuine feedback on my articles/awards
- reading books on your couch as you create music
- running my fingers up and down your spine
- drinking with your friends
- teaching you inappropriate words in Romanian and laughing at your horrible pronounciation
- every inch of you.


Things I will not miss:

- the fact that you’ve suddenly vanished and left me in places of despair