Life Sucks But Don't Give a Fuck

Once in a while there comes a website that really tickles your fancy and keeps you chained to your computer chair, continually refreshing the homepage. See, websites are like gorgeous men. You first stumble upon them and can’t get enough (until another website steals you away, of course). You gush to all your friends about it and (SEXUAL INNEUNDO ALERT!) sometimes you spend your entire Friday night on it.

My current lover is www.fmylife.com – a rip off of www.viedemerde.fr - either way, a great way to pass the time. It’s an electronic haven where in a sentence or two, users reveal their most embarrassing moments. It’s rehab for the clumsy and unlucky.

I find the most laugh out loud material involves love and/or sex. Such as:

"Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML"

"Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML"

“Today, I finally got the chance to hook up with the girl I really like. She was naked, and as she was taking my pants off, she looked at my penis and said, ‘oh, I just remembered I have to babysit my little sister today.’ FML”

Now, most people argue laughing at other people’s misfortunes makes you an asshole. I suppose it does. I suppose I’m a huge asshole then. However, I’m actually applauding these people for their [anonymous] bravery more than I am laughing hysterically at them.

We shouldn’t deny the fact that we just love horror stories more than fairytale endings. It doesn’t make us bad people. It helps us grow thicker skin and gives us the metaphoric balls to admit to our own horror stories on a public domain.

I don’t believe a person to be truthful when claiming they can make it through 24 hours without something remotely awkward happening to them. Take a look at me for example; the poster girl for embarrassing moments. Within 5 hours of being in the college environment today, two embarrassing things happened. Too bad FML doesn’t come with cash rewards. I could really use the money for next year’s tuition.

Embarrassment is human nature. How many times have you heard the phrase “nobody is perfect”? Too many times to count, right? Even Fidel Castro fucks up sometimes by tripping and sliding into a bunch of chairs after a press conference. Joaquin Phoenix is even creating a username for FML this very moment. Ah look, he just posted!

“Today I was on set for a movie about a blind caveman. I took a bunch of drugs and drank a lot of God knows what before I went on Lettermen to tell him I’m a rap super star. He told me to never come back. FML”

Over all, the ability to read about other people’s confessions on sites like FML, Post Secret or Group Hug gives us clumsy idiots great comfort and suddenly we don’t feel so alone and horrible for our own clownish actions. Once we hit the “post” button, we can let out a sigh of relief as a bit of weight is lifted from our shoulders. We can finally buck up, move forward and laugh. Whether we're doing it with each other or at each other...who really gives a fuck?